Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Mama, I'm coming home to Turkey


Scientists have discovered a family that walks on all fours – millions of years after its ancestors stood up and walked on two legs.
Evolutionary psychologist Professor Nicholas Humphrey, one of the scientists leading the research into the family, said: "This could be hugely important – a living example of how our ancestors walked before they became bipedal.
"As such, it might teach us so much about our distant past."
The family is very poor, has had little medical help and lives in a small village in Turkey. The parents, who are closely related, have had 19 children.
Most were normal, but six were born with what looks like brain damage. Five of these, aged between 18 and 34, walk quadrupedally. Family members are treated as outcasts by many of the villagers.
The BBC was given exclusive access to the family and is to tell the extraordinary story in a documentary film to be broadcast this month.
The documentary features interviews with scientists from across the world, and their response has been mixed – the only thing they do agree on is that this is not a hoax.
American paleanthropologists think that the family's skeletons could hold vital clues about the origin of man. A Turkish neurophysiologist believes that they are wholesale genetic throwbacks – a living 'missing link'.
But UK researchers contend that no single faulty gene could produce the first human quadrupeds the modern world has seen.
Producer Jemima Harrison, of Passionate Productions, which made the film for the BBC, said: "The family raises profound questions about what it is to be human. They walk like animals and that's very disturbing at first. But we were also very moved by this family's tremendous warmth and humanity."
The Family That Walks On All Fours is on BBC2 on Friday, 17 March at 9pm.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Whacko Bead

Heeeellooooooooo
Well it seems no-one has been commenting on my blog so I will have to pretend I am suicidal again so I get loads of attention. You all should feel really sorry for me, really you should. I will not however, tell you about all the nasty e-mails and letters I am sending all over the world because a sensible man walked away from a crazy loon.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Bye bye for now

How many times have we all heard the 'bye bye, I'm not blogging anymore' posts? So tiresome. Well, lets all see how long this blogging fast will last for this time. I may even start a book on it. Roll up, roll up guys, how many hours will she go without blogging? Answers in a comment below please.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

He's vicious, he's insightful, he's.....



You rock, you also suck, but at the moment I'll stick with rock!

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Some advice

Life Does Not Appeal To Me Anymore
What is this thing called love that but destroys thespirit? To have loved so deeply and to have lost, andall because I was a defective human, I truly am sorryfor losing what was a gift, a true gift. How can Isurvive having found you and then lost you due to mystupidity. I bashed my head against the same walls youhave met in your past; I went crazy over my love foryou; I desired you so much that it killed us; it wasthis stupidity, this inane inability to be normal andin love, instead of madly in love, that has killed me.I try to survive by telling myself that you were adrifter and that I was just another experience on yourown road of life, and that you had no intention ofloving me forever, but then, even thoughI try to tell myself that you were not a good man forthe long run, I still cannot but help recall our veryclose moments together. Can you not remember them?Will you come back to me? Come and kiss me again,deeply and with all the love we once had for eachother. Will you come back to me and save me? Please.Please. You left a woman who loved you more than theworld. I could not see you leave my house; it wouldhave been too hard. That is why I told you to go. ButI didn't want you to go.Please come home to me.Please.
posted by AFishInJapan at 6:39 PM 0 comments

Some advice dear sister, e-mail someone who cares because they don't know what a freaky mental loser you are. WWW.SAMARITANS.ORG.UK

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Living In the Past


Whoa, we're half way there
Whoa, LIVING IN THE PAST

Or something like that.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I need some adventure

You know what guys, I feel the need for some adventure. White water rapids? Extreme canoeing? Rock climbing? Nope, not for me. I know exactly what I want. I want to find a boat and join the crew. My ideal boat would be a good sterdy old one with character, maybe a ferro. Most importantly I would be looking for the owner to be inexperienced in sailing so I have to do all the work. She would be impetuous and bad tempered when I tried to teach her and selfish in all aspects of activiites, food and relaxation.

I envisage she would be on the verge of a nervous breakdown with psycotic episodes on a daily basis. Even better, I think she would need to be bipolar and in need of medication. That way, if she ran out whilst at sea, we could be assured some good entertainment. I imagine she would be really needy and cling to me at one point in the day, and threatening to throw me overboard the next moment.

Yes, what an adventure that would be. Could a sailor ever be so lucky to find such a person. If you did, how could you ever pass up the opportunity to spend close one on one time with them at sea? Yes, you'd have to be really crazy to pass that up folks. If you hav any suggestions where I may find such an adventure please feel free to tell me.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

An Open letter [hic] to my ex

I write to you, not for a response, [for your email is blocked and I do not wish to hear from you] but merely, should you read me, to ask you to think about why you left a woman who was your dream; if indeed your dream was to sail the Seven Seas with love and with your own guile and adventure. I cannot believe that we met and we disintergrated. That the interference of your family doomed us. For I was your dream. Our paths were the same. Same phone numbers. Same cats. Same mother/gf names/ same feelings within dreams/ same friend[contact Tom] and yet, wham bam, over. because of shit.I think you found and lost your soulmate. Really.Unless, that is, you were not serious about being a sailor. If, in fact, your current frolic with the sea, is merely a way to make yourself feel more interesting, more important.What do you really seek? To sail the seas? Really?Or are you trying to fill a void that your own mistakes created for yourself? Oh, how I wish I was low enough to welcome you back into my life, but you know something, it is I who is the real 'renegade', it is I who is true to the sea and to my idea of love. Look closely at yourself, my darling, you but hop aboard other's dreams. I was willing to have you share a dream. You forsook me over your parents. And I loved you.I loved you truly and I but want you to realise and know that you won't ever find another woman like me. Never. Unless you were a liar about your dreams. Which, I think, you are.You are no more a sailor, than I was meant to be a lifetime teacher.
Mxxxxxxxxx
Ja ne, my darling
M

Sunday, November 20, 2005

An Important Announcement

Something really exciting happened today. We're arranged a date next year to celebrate the passing of a wonderful old git. February 14th falls on a Tuesday next year, so to mark the 2 year anniversary of his passing we are going to all meet up at an uncles house in the countryside. When I say we, I am still waiting for an invite but I'm sure it's just lost in the post. Both uncles, aunts and all the cousins will be there to have a winter garden party, then at the time of his passing we are going to have a little dance in the area his ashes were scattered, well some of them anyway. One of my cousins used some of her cash recently gained (a couple of months ago I think) to get a kick ass dj set up. The party will be so much fun.

The only bad thing about this, well two bad things actually, are that I am not in the UK, so it will be a bit hard to go WHEN I get my invite, and also that my evil estranged half sister will be going with her family. I bet she's only going there because it's going to be a big party with loads of booze and food and she wants to share in the riches he left the family.

As a bonus, I have heard that the evil one will be meeting up with Felicity, my other sister and taking her along to get better aquainted with all the family. It will be so nice to evenually meet her and see that she looks nothing like me and is actually sane. Foo wee.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Theres something about Jim

Theres something that keeps ringing a bell to me about Jim. I know that name and I feel there is a link somewhere with him in the family. I say Jim old chap, you didn't happen to have had an old aunt who liked to wear dirty old macs did you? Foo wee.

Upping the stakes




It's time to rake in some more money. I have shares that I need to increase the value of. Now I am a lonely spinster I need to provide for my old age alone. If I advertise the companies I have shares in, maybe I can make a difference, I do have a lot of fans and admirers you know. If I ask nicely, maybe they will all go and purchase Christmas gifts and socks, slippers etc from one of my stores in order to influence popularity and share prices. Would you? Go on, have a look, you know you want to.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Jim's in the dog house

Jim,That blog that you find so *funny* has given me nearly a year of distress. It is full of lies and vile accusations based on nothing but the insane ramblings of a woman who feels slighted for having missed out on benefiting from our grandfather's will; and for VERY good reasons.Having her putrid blog out there that continues to defame me and advertise MY property and lie about me is something that I am trying to stop with the blogging powers that be.For you to find it funny might suggest that you are bored.May I suggest you read her blog in the future and cease from coming here. She steals all my writings, as it is, so you will not be missing anything.Maria Homepage 11.12.05 - 5:39 am #

Ha ha ha, poor Jim. Sorry about that mate! I'll try not to amuse you in future. Strange how all the family find it funny and amusing except her, wonder why? Maybe the sense of humour in our family skipped her. Foo wee.

The penny drops

"As my ex calls me crazy and the bitter estranged half-sister calls me crazy[although she hasn't been in my life since she was 8 years old], I've started to wonder if indeed I am a stark, raving loon. Is this why I'm still single? Na! The only reason I haven't met anybody is because I've kept myself hidden away in no-time-for-love land Japan. But could I still be as crazy as that fetid lump of half-my-genes makes out? Could I? Am I? It got me to thinking about how I grew up and well, I pretty much did it on my tod. Nobody told me about *life* or gave me cuddles or acted like they really loved me; not even my mother. Blah Blah Blah lots of self pity.....A deranged woman who destroys all she touches.Ja ne.

posted by Anchored at 11:32 AM

At last, the penny drops. Now all you have to do is stop blaming your insanity on other people and take some responsibility for your own actions. Foo weeeee.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I'm so accurate

Over two and a half months ago I posted;

"When you leave you will get streams of e-mails some nice, some evil, but the best thing to do will be to ignore them. As you now know, attention matters, a lot. "

How right was I? In a recent post fish trap said;

"During that time I was all over the place and I sent a string of e-mails to that Italian bastard telling him how much I'd loved him, copy and pasting past declarations of love between us[and recipes for Italian meatballs], and yes, a few were bitchy ones saying that I was glad he'd left me coz I wasn't impressed with him telling mutual friends that I was 'lazy, had no conscience, was a typical crazy Western woman, and was a drunk'. It seems to be a thing that runs in his family to accuse outsiders of being 'drunks'. So anyway, during my suicidal phase I sent around 90% "Woe" to him and 10% "Fuck You!".I got a reply back from him today. He told me that it was 'his life and his choice to move on'[fair enough] and that my up and down up and down e-mails to him but proved that I was emotionally unstable[doh, it was called being dumped]"

Talk about on the money. I am just glad he responded in the way he did, sending her lots of replies would have only fueled what is turning into hatred for him because he has rejected her.

In a recent comment she said;

Oh, but I keep sending him emails because I think we made a big mistake ending this dream.I cannot stop loving him. I want him to come back to me. I am a fool. I am broken. I'm going to bed.Maria 11.07.05 - 10:29 pm #

I feel so sorry for this guy. He is going to have her round his neck like a heavy weight for the next few months because she can't accept rejection and move on. At least he can just delete the e-mails if he chooses. She may be saying it's all hunky dory now, but believe me folks, this is so not the end of misery, whining and suicidal thoughts. Cry wolf, cry wolf little girl.

Bum fluff

In a recent post, an angered fish rants;

"Yes, she has actually convinced herself that she stands to gain from my demise. What a #$#t!"

Why of course dear lunatic. Someone sane in the family has to be there to take care of all your assets, and i don't mean your wrinkly hands.

Did y'all know that for years and years and years before the death of my grandfather, the evil half-sister and an evil uncle and aunt talked almost constantly about Grampy's will (not true)and how they thought I visited him and 'pretended' to love him just because I was after his money. That bit is true however, and is still thought across the whole family.


The fucking bastards, and I hope that that shit of an uncle reads my blog too because I still hate him for sending me that e-mail back in February ordering me to SHARE my inheritance with that bitch, the half-sister. I was away at the time at the temple in the snowy mountains of Takayama having slightly weird sex due to having quaffed copious amounts of sake at all the little sake havens in the machi, and when I woke up in the morning I had this e-mail waiting for me saying, 'SHARE or else! Out of respect for your mother[eh? she died donkeys years ago] we think you should give half your inheritance to the absent and totally estranged half sister."

Ha ha ha, bet that really pissed you off. Shame to ruin such a lovely holiday break too.

So yah, the evil uncle's encouragement to the evil half sister backfired on him coz she then put in a failed claim on the will which delayed the release of the money for 8 months.

Untrue. No claim was ever made on the estate. You were only made to think so. Check your facts.

Yes, I haven't said all I'd like to say to that bastard who calls himself 'family'.

I can vouch for the fact he does NOT call you family.

He's the guy who told my grandfather not to take me in when I was sick with cancer. He's the guy who said to Grampy, 'and I hope she cannot get the op done on the NHS and has to pay for it'

Too bloody right, I seconded that motion.


He didn't even like the half-sister; thought her a money grabber years ago when he realised that she only ever contacted him in the week before her birthday.

Partially true. I disliked him more than I think it possible for him to have disliked me, however, I didn't contact him before my birthday as I knew he was an arsehole that didn't want to know all of his family, only the ones that used him for his cash and house to stay in.

Gah! I loathe those people - sanctimonious, judgemental, bored gits.

We loathe you too.

I still haven't sent a letter to that awful uncle telling him just how ashamed I am to have him as family, and how his father would have been so disappointed in him.

I believe you have sent many nasty things in the post, one more really wouldn't be necessary as I'm sure he knows how unlucky he is that his sister happened to spawn a psycho little shit like you.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Give me strength!

"Bye Bye For Now

My love for you was real. I hate you for leaving meover nothing. Nothing is what it was. A few glitches.You gave me no time to be myself without the stress ofbuying boats and your family around us. You gave me nochance to show the love that you fell in love with.I never lied to you.You lied to me.It is you who could not love."

How fucking melodramatic is that! How the hell can I be related to someone who is as bonkers as that? Mind you, to be fair mental health problems are not always easy to live with. I wish she'd get medication or something. Still, I still can't believe I'm related to that.

I have to say in Francesco's defense, he left because he saw the mental health problems and drink problems she had, not all the crap she keeps harping on about. He was just unlucky that he met a character on the net believed it, then found out it didn't exist. It was just my loony tune of a sister. Poor guy. Foo wee.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

How much darling?















5 for a hand job
10 for a nightclub blow job and...
a shags free cause I'm that desperate.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Second home sweet home

As my wonderful sister lives in Slough now, it's nice to know I have a second home in the UK. One always likes to feel one has roots somewhere, and not having any close family or friends in the UK, I guess her cottage in Slough will be as close as I can get. Foo wee.

He's behind you






















It's a good job we're in pantomime season because the Fishy blog is fitting right in. We have the full cast list now, the poor hard done to cinderella with no family to love her and a love who has left her, the evil half sister who mocks her, the evil uncle who secretly plots her downfall, the evil aunt who has plotted against her all her life and is now relishing in her misery, the absent father, the deceased mother and grandfather who visit her in her dreams and encourage her in her trip round the world on a boat.

Baarrfffff, give me a brake. This is all so far from real life it's hilarious. The fish blog is like a badly written story waiting to be rescued, not to mention boring and repetitive. Please, get a life and stop talking about anchors, sails and fucking bread making! Foo wee.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Talk about up your own arse

"Used to be a weekend smoker myself until the day that I found out I had a tumor. I gave up in a flash so quick you couldn't even see the flash. Made me feel ashamed for having put myself at known risk, coz we all know it ain't good for us. It's okay for thick bastards to smoke, they have a reason, being thick, but for us educated folks, well, we ain't got no excuse and well, I gave up. Just like that."

Have you ever heard the likes of that? Us educated folks? Thick bastards? I think someone is a little confused, but theres nothing new there. Who exactly are 'us educated folks' and who deemed her appointer of thick people?

We? Trying to create a bond with readers to make them think only the educated read her blog? That is such a telling paragraph, as it portrays how she views herself and others. She is above others simply because she went to University maybe, or because she works in education, even though she is not a qualified teacher? People are thick because they don't agree with her or do what she does? What a self important, judgmental condescending old bat she is. Foo wee.

Wooooa tiger

It seems an onlookers comments can send me into a frenzy.

Come on you all know how the song goes,

If you're psychotically happy and you know it shake your hands, boom boom......

A sad sight

I was looking at this photo of myself the other day when I realised how absolutely minging I am. I look starved! Just look at the Deidre Barlow lines around my neck!! I felt horror as I saw how skinny I am but that my nose has remained big and fat and my hair limp and greasy. No wonder I can't find anyone to love me. Even fucking Deidre Barlow can find someone to love her, maybe I need a better script writer. Foo wee.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I'm so depressed

Depressed, bi-polar, I don't know. One minute I'm happy telling everyone I am over him and I will never speak of him again, the next I am sobbing and wanting to end my life again. Who would have thought that a man seeing my true personality and rejecting it would be so hard? I thought I had gone about it the right way. I spent weeks talking to him on the internet, so I had chance to paint my character really well and deeply into him. When we met it should have been easier to continue that character was it not for his bloody parents. This is all the fault of his parents, my misery is all their fault. I take absolutely no responsibility at all. Pass the prozac. Foo sobbing wee.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Heeeeellloooooo, nobodies listening!!


"If I could, but this isn't America, I'd shoot myself in the head right now."

This is shouting out how desperate she is for attention. 'Nobody has commented on how depressed I am, so I must up the ante'. Sad cow. Foo wee.

Look at me everyone, I'm really depressed.


"So, I think that to survive I must admit to my failure in life as a human. I must embrace the fact that I will never be loved because if somebody were to love me again then I'd only fuck up by being jealous if you looked at another woman, or sad if you didn't notice when I needed your love, or disappointed when you didn't experience the same feeling as I expected you to feel. See! I'm a shit person. God, how did he last so long with me? What kept him with me? I thought he loved me but I went too far and he left me. Hey, living life as a freak, as a person who is too nasty to ever really maintain any semblance of love from another, actually gives one a sense of being again. Instead of believing that I am the romantic person on the planet, the truest person to whomever I love, yeah, instead I will forge this new personality for myself - somebody who will always be alone. I'll get used to it now. Being alone. Forever. Because the truth of the matter is I failed in love with Francesco. He left me even though I tried so hard to make our dream come true - to the point that I got us a cruise-worthy boat. And he still left me. This makes me a shit person. It really does. I don't like myself. I will sleep long hours and work when I have to and just be robotic till I die. "

Well, I just wonder how long it will be before this post and the last are deleted from the honest blog? This is so obviously an attention seeking device. It's screaming "come on all my blogging friends, tell me how wonderful and couragous I am, and how he didn't deserve me anyway etc" Then everyone tells you that you are great and you delete the post apologising for making a fool of yourself again. Don't you ever feel like a hamster on a wheel you can't get off because your life and moods seem to go in a cycle that never breaks. Foo 'pity me' wee.

Self pity 4 U


"So, if I gave all my love to one person and still I failed in keeping that person able to love me, then what kind of person does that make me?Am I about to start living the rest of my life under the realisation that I am not a good person and that I deserve all I get? Am I really so awful? My extended family, bar two cousins, don't like me but they haven't seen me properly since I was 24. My mother is dead. My father totally absent. I've lost two friends in the past due to my phobia with fork biting. But I tried so hard to show my good side with the first man that I had ever loved. I believed in him before we'd even met. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him because I truly loved him. But I failed. I must have failed for a reason. Many reasons. Even though I believed in us and started planning for our dream to sail around the world on our own boat, planning via the investing of money, the quitting of job, I still failed. I still wasn't doing it right and well, I sit here now and feel that it is time to admit to myself that I am not a good person and that I should start accepting that I can never be like others. How do you manage to keep your loves? How do you manage to not end up like me? A total human failure.If I accept that I am a shit then maybe if sunlight sometime shines, I can feel a little bit of happiness amidst the knowledge that I'm honest enough to admit that I'm a crap person.I must be the worst person in the world after Bush. "

I have to say, I couldn't agree more. You are indeed a shit. Foo wee.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Man, I get worse!

Not only do I go out on the town and act like the village bike, but I hook up with a blogging fan that looks like a cross between Bob Geldof and Tom Selleck. Still, the Bob part of him may be weak enough to afford me some charity for a quick shag.

Take a close look at my photo, look at my aged hands. Not the hands of a worker, but the hands of an aging woman. A lonely aging woman. Also, look at the lack of cleavage. I think I should take some of my small £60 000 inheritance and invest in a boob job. Maybe I'd keep a man who didn't look like a gypsy king then. Ah, no, thats forgetting I have a personality problem, well, actually, I'm mad. Foo cuckoo wee.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Who are you... who who.. who who?

So own up, who was the pen of this lovely e-mail I received back in May...


"I've known Maria for a couple of years and we are friends. I won't go into specifics about who I am, where I am, or what I am but I must admit I read your blog. I'm curious to know where this all stems from. There must be a ton of crap between you two for you to spend so much time on making this blog so...interesting. I hate to read your blog and because I am her friend but I find that I can't help myself because you obviously spend a fair amount of time in reading hers and sending it up (really well, I might add). You have something oddly fascinating about you. I'm curious. ? "

Move over Rosie and Jim













I have decided that my future lies in barges. Canal barges. It makes perfect sense. I can spend a life on the water, avoid paying any income tax or council tax, I can make money teaching from on my barge and I won't have to communicate with other annoying human beings if I don't want to. I'm sure the rest of the local population would be pleased about that too. It also means if I get lucky I can do a black widow routine on them and bump them off overboard when I've had my wicked way with them. Saves the rejection further down the line and all that. What a top idea. I'm going to find loads of forums to go on about it, get some books and try to sound knowledgeable about something I know nothing about. Life is just peachy. Foo wee.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

The worm turns



It seems the worm has turned. The pumpkins may have escaped me, but I caught this image of trouble in paradise yesterday. It seems they have been lying low in the lanes while the aftermath of the great pumpkin escape passed over. They appear to have been rowing somewhat. It seems that 'she' wanted slits for eyes in the pumpkin for Halloween, and 'he' wanted round eyes. Talk about clash of the titans. Well, as nature intended, 'she' won and slits were made. I have informed the police of the whereabouts of the thieves and the location of the stolen pumpkins, with slits for eyes, but we will have to wait and see what happens. Criminals as elusive as these don't get easily caught you know! Foo wee.

Monday, October 03, 2005

In hot pursuit














I chased them down the lane to try to get some justice done, I mean, even if you are old, stealing is stealing! It seems to me they do it for the thrill of the chase and the buzz of getting away with it, a bit like joy riding. Come on, what pensioner can say they stole pumpkins for necessity! Anyhow, I headed off down the lane, camera in hand ready to tackle them. The cheeky sods stopped, turned round, pulled the above face, gave me the finger, and headed off pumpkins in arms! I was so shocked and flabbergasted I stood still for about 5 minutes watching them waddle off into beyond.
They really have gone too far this time. I vow I will catch these local tealeaves, and I will bring them to justice one day, just you watch me. This is war now. Foo wee.

Caught them!














My regular readers may well remember my encounter in the park with the cutlery thieves, well blow me down with a feather if I didn't catch them at it again! I was sauntering round my local garden centre when I spotted a suspicious looking couple out of the corner of my eye. I decided to have a look because I had a gut feeling it was them. I got my camera out so if they were stealing I could get evidence.
Well I saw them taking pumpkins from the shelves and making towards the emergency exit with them. I called out to them, and this is when I took my photo, they turned round and looked quite surprised to see me. I ran at them, intending to rugby tackle the slowest one, but bugger me if they didn't make a break for it! Before I could make any gain on them, they were out of the emergency exit and power walking up the lane. Foo wee.

Friday, September 30, 2005

My little lapdog Alex















It is quite an amusement to me to be able to gather my followers into regular readers and brainwash them all into believing I am a fictional character. That fictional character, Maria, is a nice, quirky, happy go lucky kind of girl. She has a good sense of humour and is a little worried and vunerable about sailing. I produce this image in order to get things out of people. Maybe they will want to meet with me on my travels and I can get them to pay for meals and drinks and take advantage of their hospitality. Maybe they will offer to come and help me with my new flat in turkey, or maybe, just maybe they will kiss my ass all the time on my blog and make me feel worshiped. Ha ha ha, unsuspecting fools. I have to admit if I have a talent, it's pulling the wool over peoples eyes. Some eyes however are not fooled, and see through my aging act that they have seen time and time again. You can't win em all, but you sure can fool a lot of gullible suckers. Wonder if what Alex will give me if I'm nice to him.....

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Liz the lacky













I am just sitting here wondering what I did to be blessed with such a good friend as Liz. She is always finding me links to sites I might like, giving me invaluable advice and generally wedging herself up my arse. It's so nice to be able to live my life through the affirmations of people like Liz. What would I do without them? What would Liz do without me? I feel like a substitute for the kids she has brought up, now they have flown the nest. She can offer all of her worldly advice to me without fear of pushing me away.

I keep harping on about how I am an independant woman, seems odd I have to run every decision I make through my audience. Maybe I'm not so sure about myself after all.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

A quick muse


I've been having a muse about my anonymous poster. I think I may have to have a good rethink about my personality and behaviour. I have always maintained that I am a great person, but as soon as I get a negative comment on my blog, I jump to the conclusion that it is someone that knows me. Why is that? Is it because deep down I know the truth about myself but my conscience keeps it covered up from me? If someone dislikes me and I assume it MUST be someone that knows me, then surely that says that I know that I am an unpleasant person for people to have to experience. I wonder how many other people I have left littered across the globe that despise me? Foo wee.

Dear Anonymous



Whoever the anonymous poster is in Fish faces blog, I LIKE YOUR STYLE. I'm sending you out a big virtual hi 5. Keep up the good work. Foo wee.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Two faced cow's udder


I wonder why I can be so openly rude and nasty when commenting on someone elses site, that most of my fans don't visit, whereas I won't dare to do it on my site. Maybe it's because I don't want my real personality to seep through?

Some examples from www.scruuw.blogspot.com are

There's one thing about Finn. He ain't fat like his mother!Maria Homepage 09.26.05 - 3:06 pm #

Where's she gone? Running scared. Hey, Candi, you should see what she said about you on her son's blog. Imagine in the future when Thin learns how to read and he'll come across the vile language of his mother and think, dang, and she calls herself a mother!Maria Homepage 09.26.05 - 4:00 pm #

She's bonkers!Ooh! I don't deserve it! OOOH! My life will be so lacking without Thin in my life and his Fat Mom.Maria Homepage 09.26.05 - 5:58 pm #

Talk about 2 sides to a personality! Foo wee.


You can be types of things, but inside you can be as crazy as a cuckoo on speed. You can be all those things in the picture, you can hide your real self from most people around you, but every so often, a little bit will slip out to those who are watching. Dang. They're watching. Foo wee.

I spy with my eagles eye, something beginning with F


I'm keeping my eagle eye on Francesco's blog. I am so pissed off because he won't let me comment to respond on his site, however, if I harp on about it in my blog, people might cotton on to quite how bothered I still am about it. I try to make out I am getting on with life, but behind my masquerade, I am a broken woman who has no dream left.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Pippa the skippers revelation


Pippa sent me this photo of her over today. It came as a pleasant surprise to me that Pippa the skipper actually used to be Phillip the errrm tranny. I was surprised at first by Pip's revelation but then considering the fact that Pippa is still pre-op, the obvious bonuses came to mind. I think Pippa and I will get on really well. I'm so pleased I've met Pippa, at last someone normal just like me to share my up's and downs and life at sea. Foo wee.

My crazy stalking sister















This is my crazy stalking estranged half sister who has been littering my blog with comments I can't delete. I thought I would put her picture up to shock her and also to shame her into stopping her ridiculous actions. How can she live with herself spreading evil lies about me? I don't understand.
What I can't quite understand is why I have any pictures of her still. I still maintain I dislike this individual immensely as she is a greedy liar, but I don't know why I still hold onto the picture.
Ding, lightbulb moment. I just remembered. It's so that when I snuff it, they can more easily identify the recipient of my estate. Dang, how could I of forgotten that. Foo wee.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005




Hoorah! At long last I feel the nightmare is beginning to come to an end. I can exclusively reveal I have found my female saviour. She is a female skipper called Pippa and she is currently in negations with me about skippering my boat in March. She is absolutely fabulous. She has been a skipper for about 36 years, so well experienced in all waters. We have been e-mailing for a few days now and I feel we have a deep connection already. We have really bonded and I feel she will be great for me and my wonderful boat Abigpileof Crap. She sent me a picture only last night actually and she is not quite what I expected, but none the less, her credentials are great. She is about a size 22, has short cropped brown hair and a rather manly style of dress. I am so glad we will be sailing together, all girls together and all that jazz. Seems she hasn't had a boyfriend in years, so we'll be soulmates in that department I can assure you. She seems so keen I can't tell you. Particularly on seeing pictures of me and the sleeping quarters. I've assured her comfort, so I can only hope she comes on board with me, to make my dreams come true. Foo wee, and 3 cheers for Pippa the skipper.